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The Poll Vault
Funnier Than Gallup and Just as Useless

About.com Poll
How would you rate Bush's presidency so far?

Phenomenal
Unimpeachable
Comical
Fraudulent
Abominable


Current Results
About.com Poll
What was the best protest sign on display at Bush's inauguration?

The Emperor Has No Votes
One Nation Under Fraud
Unity My Ashcroft!
Hail to the Thief
Re-elect Gore in 2004


Current Results
About.com Poll
What was Bill Clinton's most distinguishing characteristic?

Initiated sweeping oral sex education program
Felt, touched and fondled our pain
Outlasted enemies by licking Bush, neutering Newt, and making Dole go limp
Was an outstandingly bad Elvis impersonator
Will leave town laughing with a 70 percent approval rating


Current Results
About.com Poll
What's your favorite Bushism?

'Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.'
'I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.'
'The idea of putting subliminable messages into ads is ridiculous.'
'They misunderestimated me.'
'Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?'


Current Results
About.com Poll
George W. Bush is your new president. How do you feel?

I'm going to Disneyworld
I'm going to Canada
So much for the American democratic experiment
Re-elect Gore in 2004
Break out the chisels. Time to get a head start on Mt. Rushmore.


Current Results
About.com Poll
What will Al Gore do now?

Sell the farm in Tennessee and move to one of the blue states
Hunker down and write a new manifesto: 'Chads in the Balance: The Lockbox and the Human Spirit'
Pull out the old Internet blueprints and begin inventing new computerized voting system
Shoot a commercial for electoral dysfunction


Current Results
About.com Poll
Who will emerge as the biggest loser when the election mess is resolved?

George W. Bush
Al Gore
Jeb Bush
U.S. Supreme Court
Guys named Chad


Current Results
About.com Poll
W. is for _?

Winner
Whiner
Wanker
Wimp
One-Termer


Current Results
About.com Poll
Bush says he's ready to begin measuring drapes in the Oval Office. What say you?

The Fat Lady has sung. Bush won. All hail Boy George.
Don't bet the trailer money yet.
Gore got more. He'll make Bush eat chad in the end.
I hear Vancouver is nice.


Current Results
About.com Poll
What should happen after the election results in Florida are certified?

Give Gore West Wing, Bush East Wing
Force Florida to secede from Union
Flip the channel back to Baywatch
Impeach Jeb Bush
Hail to the cheat


Current Results
About.com Poll
What's your opinion of the Florida Supreme Court's decision to accept additional hand recounts?

Guess that means the ballot counters will be eating chads for Thanksgiving
Count long enough and those pregnant chads are going to give birth to live votes
It's all part of a conspiracy to keep this going through the end of November sweeps
Apparently the Bushes don't have all Florida officials in their hip pocket


Current Results
About.com Poll
Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris should be named Bush's ambassador to Chad.

Agree
Disagree


Current Results
About.com Poll
How should we handle the electoral train wreck?

Give it to Gore – he won the popular vote
Give it to Bush – brother Jeb can fix things in Florida
Give it to Nader – he spoiled this thing
Give it to Clinton – he's looking better and better
Scrap the whole thing and give it to Martin Sheen


Current Results
About.com Poll
How are you voting in the 2000 presidential election?

For Bush – America needs new leaderslip
For Gore – How is this thing even close? Sigh.
For Nader, principle and 8 years of Bush/Cheney
For Pitchfork Pat and the hope of a Fourth Reich
Write-in vote for Clinton


Current Results
About.com Poll
What is your opinion of George W. Bush's DUI?

More likely to vote for him
Less likely to drink beers with him
Let's impeach him now
At least he didn't drive over a bridge
He should be executed


Current Results
About.com Poll
Who would provide comedians with the best material over the next four years?

Pat Buchanan
George W. Bush
Al Gore
Ralph Nader


Current Results

About.com Poll
Would you like to contest the results of these polls?

Yes
No


Current Results

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